# How to Use Indirect Language Diplomatically in English at Work

> Master diplomatic indirectness for tech meetings. Learn to soften code review feedback, buy thinking time with vague expressions, and navigate sensitive discussions professionally.

- **Author:** Speak Tech English
- **Published:** 2026-08-28
- **Updated:** 2026-09-07
- **Topic:** [Email & Slack](https://app.speaktechenglish.com/knowledge-base/topic/email-slack.md)
- **English level:** C1
- **Guide:** https://app.speaktechenglish.com/knowledge-base/how-to-use-indirect-language-diplomatically-in-english

## Short answer

Indirect language in tech workplaces includes diplomatic phrases like 'If you don't mind me saying so,' vague placeholders like 'thingy' when you forget a term, and softeners like 'It's not the most efficient approach' instead of 'This is inefficient.' These expressions help you deliver critical feedback professionally, buy thinking time in meetings, and navigate sensitive discussions without damaging relationships.

## Why Indirect Language Matters in Tech

Direct communication is valued in engineering cultures, but there's a crucial difference between being direct and being blunt. Indirect language isn't about being dishonest—it's about delivering your message in a way that maintains psychological safety and keeps collaboration productive.

In code reviews, sprint retrospectives, and cross-functional meetings, how you phrase criticism often determines whether people accept feedback or become defensive. Mastering diplomatic indirectness helps you influence decisions, protect relationships, and navigate the politics that exist in every organisation.

- Softens critical feedback so colleagues stay receptive rather than defensive
- Buys you thinking time when you need to process complex questions
- Helps you navigate sensitive topics without committing too early
- Signals professionalism and emotional intelligence to stakeholders

## Vague Placeholder Words: When You Can't Remember the Term

Even native speakers forget technical terms mid-sentence. Rather than freezing, they use placeholder words that signal 'I know what I mean, I just can't recall the exact word.' These words are informal but widely accepted in meetings and Slack conversations.

| Placeholder | Use Case | Tech Workplace Example |
| --- | --- | --- |
| thingy / thingummy | For objects or concepts | Can you check the thingy that handles authentication? |
| whatchamacallit | For tools or processes | We need to run that whatchamacallit—the deployment script. |
| whatsisname / whatsername | For people whose names you've forgotten | I was talking to whatsisname from the platform team about this. |
| whatnot | For listing items vaguely | We'll need to update the configs, environment variables, and whatnot. |
| thing | General-purpose placeholder | The thing is, we haven't tested this edge case yet. |

> **When to avoid placeholders:** In formal documents like RFCs, design docs, or incident reports, replace placeholders with precise terms. Save 'thingy' for live conversations where you can clarify immediately if needed.

## Scenario 1: Softening Critical Feedback Without Losing the Message

Code reviews and design critiques require you to point out problems without making colleagues feel attacked. The key is using structures that acknowledge the person's effort while redirecting toward improvement.

| Too Direct (Can Sound Harsh) | Diplomatically Indirect |
| --- | --- |
| This approach is inefficient. | It's not the most efficient approach we could take here. |
| You misunderstood the requirements. | If you don't mind me saying so, I think the requirements might need another look. |
| This code is hard to read. | No offence intended, but this might benefit from some refactoring for readability. |
| Your estimate is unrealistic. | I gather the timeline might be tighter than we initially thought. |
| This design won't scale. | It's not the most scalable solution—and I mean that in the most constructive way. |

- 'It's not the most [adjective]...' — softens negative feedback by implying room for improvement
- 'If you don't mind me saying so...' — asks permission before delivering critique
- 'No offence intended, but...' — signals your intent is constructive, not personal
- 'I mean that in the nicest possible way' — explicitly softens what might sound harsh
- 'I gather...' — distances you from direct accusation ('I've heard' rather than 'I know')

## Scenario 2: Using Vague Language to Buy Thinking Time

When a VP asks you an unexpected question in a meeting, you need a few seconds to think. Native speakers use filler phrases and vague quantifiers that sound natural while they process. Silence can feel awkward, but these phrases maintain your speaking turn.

| Phrase | Function | Example in a Tech Meeting |
| --- | --- | --- |
| The thing is... | Introduces a complication or buys time | The thing is, we haven't fully scoped the migration path yet. |
| As things are at present... | Frames current state while you think | As things are at present, the API can handle about 10k requests per second. |
| For one thing... for another thing... | Structures your answer while thinking of points | For one thing, we'd need to refactor the auth module. For another, we'd need QA sign-off. |
| There's a lot to unpack there... | Signals complexity, buys significant time | There's a lot to unpack there—let me think through the dependencies. |
| That's one of the things I want to discuss... | Defers without dismissing | That's one of the things I want to discuss with the platform team first. |

> **Informal quantifiers for approximation:** When you don't have exact numbers, use informal quantifiers: 'loads of edge cases,' 'tons of technical debt,' 'umpteen pull requests,' 'bags of time before the deadline.' These signal you're speaking informally and approximately—perfect for brainstorming, less appropriate for status reports.

## Scenario 3: Navigating Politically Sensitive Discussions

Some topics—like team restructuring, budget cuts, or performance concerns—require extra care. Indirect language helps you participate without overcommitting or creating conflict.

| Informal Slack | Formal Email / Meeting |
| --- | --- |
| Everyone's frustrated with the new process, tbh | I gather there's been some concern about the recent process changes. |
| Not pointing fingers, but the backend team dropped the ball | Present company excepted, of course, but there may have been some coordination gaps. |
| Just between us, leadership seems clueless on this | Incidentally, it might be worth revisiting the original assumptions with stakeholders. |
| This whole thing is a mess, myself included I guess | The team, myself included, could probably have communicated more proactively. |

- 'Present company excepted' — excludes the listener from criticism of a group
- 'Myself included' — takes shared responsibility, reducing defensiveness in others
- 'Incidentally...' — introduces a sensitive topic as if it's a minor addition
- 'I gather...' — reports information without claiming firsthand knowledge

## Pronunciation Guide: Tricky Indirect Expressions

Many vague expressions are contractions or informal blends that can trip up non-native speakers. Here's how to pronounce them naturally.

## Common Mistakes: What We Hear vs. Better Alternatives

| Heard at Work (Awkward) | Better English |
| --- | --- |
| No offence, but your code is bad. | No offence intended, but this code might benefit from some restructuring. |
| I don't understand anything. | I don't quite get what you're saying—could you walk me through it? |
| For one thing, it's wrong. | For one thing, the approach has some gaps. For another, the timeline is tight. |
| The thing is bad. | The thing is, we haven't accounted for the edge cases. |
| I have many problems with this. | I have a few concerns about this approach. |

> **Cultural note:** British English tends to be more indirect than American English, but both cultures value diplomatic phrasing in professional settings. When in doubt, softer is safer—you can always clarify if someone needs more directness.

_This guide has interactive exercises on the page: https://app.speaktechenglish.com/knowledge-base/how-to-use-indirect-language-diplomatically-in-english_

## FAQ

### Is using vague language unprofessional in tech workplaces?

No—vague language serves important functions like buying thinking time, softening criticism, and navigating sensitive topics. The key is knowing when to be precise (documentation, incident reports) versus when indirectness serves communication better (live discussions, feedback).

### How do I soften code review feedback without losing my point?

Use structures like 'It's not the most efficient approach' instead of 'This is inefficient,' or 'If you don't mind me saying so, this might benefit from...' These phrases deliver the same message while maintaining psychological safety.

### What's the difference between 'I gather' and 'I heard'?

'I gather' is more indirect and implies you've pieced information together from various sources without naming them. 'I heard' is more direct about having received specific information. 'I gather' is safer for sensitive topics because it distances you from the claim.

### Can I use words like 'thingy' in professional meetings?

Yes, in informal meetings, standups, and brainstorming sessions. Native speakers use placeholders regularly when they momentarily forget a term. Avoid them in formal presentations or written documentation where precision matters.

### How is British indirect language different from American?

British English typically uses more hedging and understatement ('That's not ideal' meaning 'That's a serious problem'). American English is often more direct but still values diplomatic phrasing in professional contexts. Both cultures appreciate softening critical feedback.


## Related

- [How to Communicate Confidently in English at Work on Global Tech Teams](https://app.speaktechenglish.com/knowledge-base/how-to-communicate-confidently-in-english-at-work-on-global-tech-teams.md)
- [How to Describe Scale and Complexity in English at Work](https://app.speaktechenglish.com/knowledge-base/how-to-describe-scale-and-complexity-in-english.md)
- [How to Handle Words With Multiple Meanings in English at Work](https://app.speaktechenglish.com/knowledge-base/how-to-handle-words-with-multiple-meanings-in-english.md)
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